Clyburn to abandon "Bridge to Nowhere", credits GOP activist

(Rotter's News Service) Lone Star, South Carolina: In a surprise move, Jim Clyburn (D-Cool place on Lake Marion), a top-ranking Congressional Democrat from South Carolina, announced his intention to abandon his push to secure funding to construct a bridge across Lake Marion.

While this move was welcomed by environmental groups, as well as some Republican leaders, the South Carolina General Assembly stunned the state with their swift action in proclaiming the location of the now-abandoned bridge the "Mike Reino Memorial Nothing", in recognition of Reino's efforts to spearhead opposition to the proposed bridge.

"South Carolina has named overpasses and even sidewalks after people, including many living people," said Ima Pervhurt, a political analyst with the consulting firm Dewey, Sticumgood, and Howe. "When you look at it that way, maybe it's not as strange to name an empty void after someone."

Senator Robert Ford, a Charleston Democrat, suggested the naming may have been a consolation prize. "That district was specially constructed to ensure the election of even Donald Duck, or even me, if either were to the Democratic nominee," Ford said. "All I can say is that Mike Reino had better enjoy the moment, because he's gonna get his clock cleaned this fall running in the Sixth District."

The political fallout was swift and wide-reaching. Ralph Nader abandoned plans to seek the 2008 Democratic Presidential nomination, and opted to seek the GOP nod for the White House. "For a long time, I thought the Democrats were the earth-friendly crowd", Nader explained. "But when it turns out that a top-ranking Democrat is spearheading proposals like that, obviously, I was on the wrong side all along."

This was followed by a large wave of defections of eleted Republicans in South Carolina. "Many of those who are switching have low scores with environmental groups," explained Pervhurt. "They see Clyburn's support for the bridge project, in defiance of environmental groups who made up the party's base, as an indication that the Democratic Party is the real home for those who want to slash-and-burn, and destroy the environment."

"I was assured that the signs will be placed where nobody can find them, just like the bridge," said Reino. "I guess that makes sense - the bridge project vanished without a trace, so will the signs."

3 Response to "Clyburn to abandon "Bridge to Nowhere", credits GOP activist"

  1. Anonymous 22/2/06 18:06
    Yawn
  2. Earl Capps 22/2/06 19:31
    geez - what a loser and chicken ... salad.

    whoever you are - have a nice day and try to smile a little. or at least take your meds :)
  3. Queer as Folks 25/2/06 00:40
    Dude...enjoyed your post. Finally got around to reading it. turning out the lights on my blog. Life is just more important.

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