Moderate Aryanism?

This weekend, South Carolina is host to an international event, with the Aryan Nations World Congress hosting a convention in the Columbia area.

Originally, I started out just posting a response on Joshua's blog, but I felt inspired to take it a little farther, in my frequent satirical style.

According to the story in The State, "Kreis (the organizer of the event) casts himself as moderate Aryan."

Wait a minute ... a MODERATE Aryan?

Just so nobody confuses them with the run-of-the-mill skinheads and Kluckers, here are some key differences in the moderate wing of the Aryan movement that you need to be aware of:

1) No more shipping the minorities back to where they came from. They support paying for first-class airfare back to Africa and Asia,
2) They can usually spell racial slurs correctly, and host education programs to teach these proper spellings,
3) Use of soap (a major difference here), as well as a dental plan for members,
4) This bunch generally has a clean-cut, but more "moderate" appearance, where they shave their faces (progress for some), but not their heads,
5) A renewed committment to providing quality, first-class entertainment at their events,
6) Felt Hitler's concentration camp guards could have been more courteous to the prisoners,
7) Distribute full-color propaganda, not the usual cheap black-and-white stuff,
8) Believe the holocaust happened, but "we must seek to understand the difficult choices faced by Hitler and respect the values and decisions of cultures other than our own", and, last, but not least ...
9) Relatives must sleep in separate beds at events.
As the event promises "a good time for ... all racists and White Supremacists", I'd like to recommend they have a choral review, including this peppy number "Springtime for Hitler" from the musicial and movie "The Producers", which featured Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane.

I just loved the gay Hitler in that movie (pictured above) ... his character was hilarious:

Heil myself
Heil to me
I'm the kraut
Who's out to change our history
Heil myself
Raise your hand
There's no greater
Dictator in the land!
Everything I do, I do for you!
Normally, I'd wish them, like any other group of visitors, a warm welcome to the Palmetto State, but in this case, I don't wish them well at all.

10 Response to "Moderate Aryanism?"

  1. Anonymous 27/7/06 22:03
  2. Brian McCarty 28/7/06 04:42
    I told you those guys from Red Bank would try to hunt you down.

    Besides, isn't true that a good many of the NAZI leaders were gay?
  3. The Body Politic - Joshua Gross 28/7/06 07:48
    Yeah, those two words "Moderate Aryan" hit me kinda funny as well... Thanks for the posts (both here and on my blog) and for the humor; I'm glad to have been even a little bit inspirational...
  4. Anonymous 28/7/06 12:10
    They just hate Jews and Blacks "a little bit;" Hispanics, a bit more, Gays a little more, and so on.
  5. Moye 28/7/06 12:47
    They do have the right to assembly I just wish they would do it somewhere else. Maybe Harlem would be nice or the South Side of Chicago. The media does not need anymore fodder to go against SC. Wait to CNN reports it with their spin they will have the whole state on the side of the Moderate Aryan.
  6. Earl Capps 28/7/06 13:34
    man, i sure got the discussion going today!

    thanks for everyone, and to the nazis ... try to behave this weekend.

    moye has the best idea yet ... we should've moved that event down to eastover.
  7. west_rhino 28/7/06 15:49
    I'd suggest Cross or Orangeburg
  8. aryanpride 28/7/06 19:09
    u are a loser. i see from your pics on ur website that u r a nigger lover. we will win in the end and u will lose - white power forever!!!
  9. Earl Capps 29/7/06 01:26
    I seem to have quite a fan club these days!
  10. Moye 30/7/06 14:57
    west_rhino Orangeburg sounds good maybe near State college campus.

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