Mike Reino: Missing in Action

The search is on for Mike Reino, a Republican blogger who has been missing for over two weeks since his last blog posting.

"We don't know where he could be," said Moye Graham, a GOP activist and Reino ally who lives near Lake Marion. "I'm afraid that he may have pushed ol' Jim too hard this time."

Reports have it that Reino may be held at a special secret detention facility near Lake Marion by Congressman Jim Clyburn, who is furious over Reino's continued opposition to his Lake Marion bridge project. When completed, it is alleged the new bridge will triple the state's per capita income, usher in a new era of prosperity and harmony ... and bear Clyburn's name.

Meanwhile, a spokesman for Clyburn, at a special hearing, pounded the table with his fist, declaring: "we categorically deny ... there are ... no ... Mike Reinos ... in captivity in the People's Republic of the Sixth District."

Clyburn staffers were concerned about the insistence in holding Reino until he signs a confession which admits his guilt and apologizes for his crimes against humanity in opposing the bridge, as well as admitting he only acted as a pawn of the Bush administration. Among their concerns was the possibililty that he might escape and wage a hit-and-run one-man guerilla war in the swamps and deeply-forested regions of the Sixth District, killing dozens of low-paid extras, and then go on to make three or four sequels, possibly with the help of Chuck Norris.

10 Response to "Mike Reino: Missing in Action"

  1. Anonymous 26/9/06 14:23
    This looks like bad news indeed. I bet Clyburn had something to do with his disappearnce.

    Anyone seen Clyburn fishing on the lake lately?
  2. Mike Reino 26/9/06 14:39
    DAH-DAH-DAH , DIT-DIT-DIT. SEND HELP IMMEDIATELY.. AM STUCK IN A CAVE WITH....AARRRGGGHHH!!!
  3. Moye 26/9/06 21:19
    Actually while I have not seen The Man I have talked to him. I cannot go into details at this time but I understand Gary may be missing also. The entire Clarendon County GOP is searching all 5 of them as I send this. They want to give someone a reward to keep the latter. Will let you know when mission is accomplished. In the meantime send money.
  4. Lassie! 26/9/06 22:46
    woof woof woof

    Timmy's in trouble and Gary's got Mike hid in a silo

    woof woof woof
  5. west_rhino 27/9/06 15:40
    I'm gettin a posse together, does anyone speak Cuban? I understand Clyburn is a close personal friend of Fidel...
  6. Moye 27/9/06 17:24
    Reino has escaped the swamp just as Francis Marion did and he is back blogging.
  7. Earl Capps 27/9/06 19:44
    will there be a sequel ... maybe one in which the evil bridge is blown up, to foil the plans of evil klyburn?
  8. Mike Reino 27/9/06 22:43
    I finally got some sleep and took a shower after my harrowing escape... Clyburn put me on a GOP chain gang and made me dredge out the river from Lake Marion to Moultrie in preparation for his Inland Port. I smell like Striped Bass and tree stumps.
  9. Anonymous 27/9/06 22:44
    Hearing that conservation groups of the bent of Greenpeace are opposing the four lane fishing pier across the lake, one wonders how soon the Citgo refinery plans for Cross will surface...
  10. Earl Capps 27/9/06 22:53
    the refinery in cross will go up as soon as you offer to name it after clyburn, fund a few more of those pedestrian overpasses, and then kick seven figures to SC State, where he steers a lot of his pork.

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