Clyburn becomes "JC Hammer"

With the power vacuum left by the departure of Tom “The Hammer” DeLay, rising House star Jim Clyburn has announced his plans to step into DeLay’s shoes. As part of this plan, he announced that he will now be known as “J.C. Hammer”.

“Republicans have worked to challenge me and my agenda,” Clyburn said at a party fundraiser in Greeleyille. “But rest assured, it is truly ‘Hammer Time’. Face it, those who think they can stop me, they need to hear it loud and clear that ‘you can’t touch this’.”

When asked for comment, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Uuuuuhhhh) defended Clyburn. “He’s too legit to quit, ever since DeLay left. DeLay may have thought he was the Hammer, but JC Hammer is the real deal.”

Republicans in his district were skeptical, including Mike Reino, a leading Clyburn critic. "We're not fooled," Reino said. "He's going to try to force that bridge down our throats. Hammer, please don't hurt 'em."

MC Hammer, whose name was connected to Clyburn’s new power grab, was not available for comment.

7 Response to "Clyburn becomes "JC Hammer""

  1. Anonymous 16/1/07 09:42
    ok, so who's gonna be the next vanilla ice? you?
  2. Anton J. Gunn 17/1/07 00:56
    That was pretty funny!
  3. Anonymous 17/1/07 01:41
    Cast Mark Sanford as Barry Manilow and Jakie Knotts as Hank Williams, Jr.
  4. Earl Capps 17/1/07 08:41
    hey anton - glad you stuck around post-election.

    as for vanilla ice, i was thinking maybe john edwards, the democratic pretty-boy and one-hit wonder?
  5. Mike Reino 17/1/07 19:07
    earl, with people like Clyburn in charge, " we gotta pray just to make it today"....
  6. west_rhino 18/1/07 09:57
    Recasting in mind, with that trim, anton, are you up to take some of Charles Dutton's dramatic roles?

    anon, Jakie is no Hank Williams or Hank, Jr.. Boss Hogg, Junior Samples or Roy Clark maybe, but no Bocephus be he.

    Glen McConnell as Perry Como is a maybe.

    Billi and Hilli as Milli Vanilli, since Bill claimed to be the first African 'Merican president (though the pale pasty Rodham might have to have it recast into a spin of Spike's Jungle Fever).

    Any thought to working Mark Sanford and Andre as Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis?
  7. Moye 20/1/07 20:34
    If there is one person I love to put the hammer to it has to be Clyburn. Good piece sorry I missed his fundraiser in Greeleyville. You do know Bill Clinton made a visit there also Mayor Riley, the then Senator Hollings has been several times along with Grady Patterson and several others. The former Governor McNair was born in Williamsburg I believe remember him coming also. The closest GOP hierchy I remember was when Strom's wife hit a deer on 521 and I took her to my Mom's home to call for a wrecker and a ride back to Aiken. Of course when Strom visited he was a democrat. Cannot forget Mike Reino I drove him in a parade there one time. We got attacked.

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