Union Gen. William Sherman said today that he plans to attack and burn Columbia to the ground, more than 140 years after doing it the first time.

“I took total war to the South in order to punish that region for what it did to our country,” Sherman said at his encampment near the Broad River. “Atlanta learned this lesson well, and without me we never would have experienced ‘crunk,’ ‘Freaknik’ or OutKast’s seminal album ‘Stankonia.’ Unfortunately, the residents of South Carolina never changed.”