Research finds no link between voting for Obama and ending racism

On Saturday, those voting in the South Carolina Democratic Primary will have several candidates to choose from.

Our crack research staff, headed by this guy on the right, has determined that if you are white, but do not vote for Barack Obama, this does not mean you are a racist. In fact, our research has indicated that the likelihood of a voter in either the South Carolina Republican or Democratic primary is rather low.

Further, our research has indicated that the outcome of Senator Obama's candidacy, win or lose, will likely have little effect on racism in South Carolina. Racist organizations such as the Ku Klux Klan, Aryan Brotherhood, Nation of Islam, the Legislative Black Caucus, and the NAACP expect to remain in operation, regardless of Saturday's election results.

However, our researchers have noted the resurgence of the ill-reputed "Dan Quayle" effect in which the decision-making mental processes of voters become influenced by a young, photogenic, low-seniority United States Senator from a Midwestern state whose mental capacity is ... questionable.

One political analyst we spoke to expressed his opinion that this means that "thanks to Obama, the Democrats can't say jack about Republicans and Dan Quayle anymore".

11 Response to "Research finds no link between voting for Obama and ending racism"

  1. Jay 24/1/08 17:48
    I bet he can spell potato
  2. Mike Reino 24/1/08 18:05
    Earl, how does Obama spell potato(e)???
  3. Speaker's Mafia 25/1/08 04:11
    All I have to say is McCain versus Obama. Forget about it. The Made Man will crush this shine into next year.

    Obama my ass. This guy ain't ever going to be President. The Speaker would lead a secession bill if that happened. And, Don Bobby would not be alone.
  4. Anonymous 25/1/08 08:36
    coonlover.
  5. haggis 25/1/08 08:41
    FREE OBAMA'S WHITE GRANDMA!

    FREE OBAMA'S WHITE GRANDMA!

    FREE OBAMA'S WHITE GRANDMA!

    PS after Obama wins SC, thanks to Hillary's crafted conceeding SC, leaving Bill and his open fly to PO everyonelse, Hillary v Obama becomes a racial wedge in the Democrat Party that could be amusing and "fractious".
  6. Anonymous 25/1/08 09:18
    sure they can still talk about quayle. they're hypocrites about everything else.
  7. Anonymous 25/1/08 09:56
    jay, can he spell tomato?
    can he spell snow ...
    on the go ...
    while doing blow ...
    do you really know?
    would you say it is so?
  8. west_rhino 25/1/08 12:32
    The really amusing side of this is that Dan Quayle's IQ, based on sources published circa 94, is higher than Al Gore's, Bill's or Hill's or Bush 41's.

    Oddly the only other politicos coming close was George Wallace and Perot's running mate Admiral James Bond Stockdale.
  9. heading to myrtle beach moye 25/1/08 23:14
    I really believe Obama is playing the Race card. While not a Clinton fan or a Democrat the Clintons are not racist. Hell they are just bad people period.
  10. Coke Stevenson 26/1/08 01:58
    Isn't it something? The party of segregation brings us the racial tension of the year.

    If you can take the boy out of Arkansas Trailer Park, but you can't take the Arkansas Trailer Park of the man.

    How dare that Obama run against a white woman and treat her with such disrespect! Older voters will be voting on that. Bill knows it.
  11. Anonymous 28/1/08 12:29
    moye, gotta disagree with ya, unless you're blowing smoke. Bill is as two faced on racism as the next bubba sneakin around the trailer park for some strange, though Hill has put the trailer park off limits.

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