Rep. Clemmons blamed for hard rock outbreak at State House

The Blogland has learned that Myrtle Beach Representative Alan Clemmons has been blamed for an outbreak of heavy metal among members of the State House.  Reportedly Clemmons' conversion took place while he was convalescing following a recent horse riding incident where his hand was injured.

I don't know what came over me. I raised my hand in the air, center two fingers curled up. Then all I could hear was Bruce Dickinson singing the lyrics to Iron Maiden's "The Trooper".

Shortly thereafter, balloons began sprouting in his yard in the image of the famous "devil horns" sign well-know in the heavy metal scene.  This sign has been used by heavy metal fans around the world, and is most commonly associated with Ronnie James Dio.  While Dio did not invent the sign, his use of the sign during his time with Black Sabbath gave the sign's usage tremendous popularity among heavy metal fans.

While many political observers were surprised to see Clemmons using the sign, they were event more surprised that he is reportedly planning to grow his hair long like Bruce Dickinson and sign on as the lead singer for a Grand Strand-based heavy metal band.  Reports are that his first concert will feature him biting the head off a Nancy Pelosi doll.

Some blamed the Blogland of Earl Capps for contributing to this occurance in a recent article that nicknamed the Horry County legislator "Ferris Bueller".  One political music critic believed:

There was no way that he could accept such a moderate and light-hearted association. This reaction was caused, in part, by his expression of his desire to be seen a intense, hard-core and outspoken. The Blogland is very much responsible for what happened. Howard Rich was right about Earl Capps - his blog is really dangerous, but I don't yet know what we're going to do about it.

There are concerns that the contagion is spreading.  Rep. Shannon Erickson is reportedly considering giving up her House seat and her businesses to join a Pat Benatar tribute band, while Rep. Thad Viers is rumored to have met with Blogland publisher Earl Capps to find out the lowdown about which heavy metal bands will be touring the United States this summer.

We'll keep our readers updated on this crisis as we learn more.


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