Showing posts with label political satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label political satire. Show all posts

More Twitter parodies entering SC-1 race

A relatively new form of political satire is the use of Twitter via parody accounts. In the special election to fill the First Congressional District seat, it's a form of political discourse that's becoming quite popular - and seems to be catching on like wildfire.

Yesterday, the Blogland reported that two more parodies had entered the race. Today, we learned that three more parody accounts appeared: @curtisballsac, @roscoepnash and @teddystrustfund.

The ever-growing satirical field now includes:


… and @dogcampbell, who is not a parody of any candidate, but is having fun in the race seeking the Twitter vote nonetheless.

If you have any to add to the list, drop an email to earl@earlcapps.org.

More Twitter parodies in SC-1 race

A while back, the Blogland discussed some of the parody Twitter accounts who are adding their own twists to the barrage of messaging produced by the sixteen Republican candidates in the race to replace Tim Scott in the First Congressional Distrct.
Just as people kept pouring into an already-full field of candidates, at least two more parody accounts have entered the race in the First: @chumpslimehouse and @harrygroomssc.

Those of you who enjoy political satire and tidbits of opposition research being wedged into the sometimes-comedic and often-critical tweets, here’s the updated roster of the known parody accounts in the race:
… and of course, special mention goes to @dogcampbell, who is not a parody of any candidate, but has a ruff approach to running for the seat.

If you have any to add to the list, drop an email to earl@earlcapps.org.

S.C. State to offer Corruption major

Struggling with declining enrollment and funding shortfalls, S.C. State University could use some fresh new ideas to help boost enrollment. The Blogland has been informed that the college intends to specialize in a new major in Corruption.

"A lot of people have called this college a poster child for corruption," one source at the Orangeburg-based university told us. "So we figured 'why not work with what we're good at?'"

The school has been the center of a lot of attention regarding money, ethics and it's leadership. Recently, a former university board Chair and former campus police chief were busted in a big kickback scandal. While this would seem to be more than enough of a scandal for any college, S.C. State has been the source of enough incompetence and mismanagement for ten colleges, as evidenced by a string of problems faced by the school:

First District parody candidates on Twitter

The race to fill the First Congressional District seat is underway. Without a minute to spare, pranksters have taken the race to Twitter with parody Twitter accounts. While we've seen this taking place in some South Carolina races, the speed and number of parody accounts is greater than before.

So far, the Blogland has identified four Twitter parody accounts running wild (look at some of the comments and you'll see what we mean):




As the race develops, we're sure there will be more. Stay tuned.

Redistricting to divide state's towering landmarks?

Twenty years ago, South Carolina underwent the first significant reshuffling of its Congressional districts in almost a century when the Pee Dee region, which had long been unified in a single Congressional district, was divided between three of the state’s then-six districts: the First, Fifth and Sixth Districts.

However, it was the first time the state placed its two towering Interstate landmarks - Gaffney’s Peachoid and the Sombrero tower of South of the Border - within the same Congressional District. Since then, the state’s two towering freeway landmarks have been represented by the same member of Congress – first John Spratt and now Mick Mulvaney.

Unfortunately, this relationship appears headed for a break-up as both of the competing redistricting plans threaten to overlook this community of interest. The Congressional maps which were passed would separate these two landmarks, leaving the Peachoid in the Fifth District, while moving the Sombrero into the Seventh, and Pee Dee Republicans are of mixed opinions as to what the potential impact of this move will be, as well as who is to blame.

Senate Democrat operative steals control of Seventh District in new plan

According to reports, Senate Democratic Caucus Director Phil Bailey was responsible for a legislative manuever which took control of the state's newest Congressional District.

According to sources, the plan unites a number of counties, divides others and is centered at his house, with plans to elect his dog to Congress.

Bailey reportedly told several insiders: "since nobody else could decide what to do with it, I thought it would make a nice toy for for my dog".

The Ride of the Four Horsemen


It was a week of revolution in America, five months into the Obama administration and the week of the first TEA parties. The winds of change were beginning to blow across America and throughout South Carolina. 

That was when four very different types teamed up and became known as "The Four Horsemen of the Political Apocalypse" : 6th District GOP Chair Tommy Grimes, Clarendon GOP Chair Moye Graham and bloggers Mike Reino and Earl Capps. Sharing their love for politics, BBQ, and beer, they teamed up to declare war on Democrats, bad BBQ and boring political websites, while often meeting at a secretive location on the shores of Lake Marion.

While some say South Carolina politics would be forever changed by what happened next, others called them riff-raff and said they were doomed to failure and eventual obscurity.

Al Gore comes out of the metal closet?





Finally unhindered by his wife Tipper's 25-year-long household ban on violent and sexually explicit music, former vice president Al Gore, 62, reportedly embraced his newfound independence this week by listening to the albums of the heavy metal band W.A.S.P.

"For the first time in decades, I get to play the kind of music I like without someone nagging me about what a bad influence it is," said Gore, sitting on the floor of his living room as he cued up the song "Animal (Fuck Like A Beast)" on his stereo. "And I get to crank it up as loud as I want."

"These guys are kicking some serious ass," added the two-term U.S. Senator. "Check out this guitar break coming up—it's nasty."

Gore, who was prohibited from hearing music with graphic sex, violence, or drug references since Tipper founded the Parents Music Resource Center in 1985, confirmed yesterday that her crusade was "total bullcrap." In addition, Gore said that listening to the forbidden W.A.S.P. albums over and over again had not turned him into a satanic dope fiend as his wife and her associates had warned.

Democrats to blame Bush for expected electoral losses

Confidential sources have informed the Blogland that Democratic national leaders are bracing for staggering electoral losses in November, including the loss of control of Congress, as well as sizable losses of governorships and state legislative seats, giving the GOP both control of the nation's Capitol, as well as greatly-enhanced leverage over redistricting in many states.

In the event such dire predictions should become reality, these sources informed the Blogland that the Democratic leadership intends to shift the blame for the electoral upset to former President George Bush.

Temporary House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-umber than dirt) defended this strategy in a press conference:

We promised the voters that things would be done differently when they put us in power, and believe me, they're being done really differently. Why should we take responsibility for our actions now when blaming everything on Bush has proven to be a lot easier to do than saying "we blew it".

Comptroller candidate sees Gamecock flag over State House as "First Step"


Democratic Comptroller General candidate Robert Barber was reportedly looking at withdrawing from the race to resume his lobbying business, reportedly excited by the decision to fly the Gamecock flag over the State House after USC's recent sports victories:

This is great news that South Carolininans are coming to their senses about this gentlemanly sport and realize that there is nothing wrong with being proud of watching chickens fight to a bloody death. We can only hope this is a sign that we'll be soon be able to turn back the clock to the days when barns full of spectators can once more cheer on these prized animals pecking and tearing each other to death.

Rep. Clemmons blamed for hard rock outbreak at State House

The Blogland has learned that Myrtle Beach Representative Alan Clemmons has been blamed for an outbreak of heavy metal among members of the State House.  Reportedly Clemmons' conversion took place while he was convalescing following a recent horse riding incident where his hand was injured.

I don't know what came over me. I raised my hand in the air, center two fingers curled up. Then all I could hear was Bruce Dickinson singing the lyrics to Iron Maiden's "The Trooper".

Shortly thereafter, balloons began sprouting in his yard in the image of the famous "devil horns" sign well-know in the heavy metal scene.  This sign has been used by heavy metal fans around the world, and is most commonly associated with Ronnie James Dio.  While Dio did not invent the sign, his use of the sign during his time with Black Sabbath gave the sign's usage tremendous popularity among heavy metal fans.

Governor press conference tour visits the Blogland

Governor Sanford continued to lash out at his political opponents with a stop in Summerville, where he held a press conference across the street from the office of Earl Capps, the publisher of the Blogland.

Forced off the sidewalk by a group of joggers, Sanford was forced to stand in a boggy strip alongside the busy road, where his comments were difficult to hear over daytime traffic.


Can you hear me? I'm really sorry you're getting all wet standing in the mud over here, but I think it's important to make myself clear on these issues.

Thank you for coming today. Can you hear me? Thank you for coming today. Please remember I don't work for you.

I wanted to respond to the charges made by Earl Capps on his blog. Can you hear me?

Let's make one thing perfectly clear. Can you hear me? He is out to get me. Ummmm everyone is out to get me. It is all because of my efforts to reform this state. I can prove it. This note written on the back of a bar tab from a now-closed Columbia strip joint from twenty-eight years ago proves they were out to get from even before I'd gotten out of college.

Can you hear me?


Sanford's comments were cut short when he realized that none of the local media outlets were present, just his staffers and all three of his supporters.

Reportedly, Sanford's tour will now travel to Honea Path, where Sanford will lambast Republican blogger Brian McCarty from the parking lot of the funeral home across the street from McCarty's home. Reportedly McCarty dismissed it as a "cheap publicity stunt", claiming that "Sanford's agenda is as dead on arrival as are most people who arrive at that funeral home".

Lowcountry legislator caught in life of parties and children

The final installation of the Blogland's latest tale of scandal and lives gone wrong takes a look at the not so well known life of a Lowcountry legislator who, having gotten her kids grown up and out the house, led a life based on parties and children.

While it's rumored that some legislators adopt wilder lifestyles only after they get to Columbia, we have it on good authority that Beaufort Representative Shannon Erickson has lived this way for years. In fact, our investigations have shown that Erickson even drags her husband into some of her activities.

Sounds shocking, doesn't it?

This may sound like Michael Jackson, whose lifestyle showed us that children and parties really shouldn't mix, Erickson's out-of-Columbia life, to quote the J. Geils Band, "ain't no never-never land". Her concern for early childhood education began in the classroom as a teacher and grew as she entered the child care business.

Not only is she all about children, she is a gracious host who enjoys putting on parties at her way-cool waterfront home in Beaufort. She hosts parties and gatherings for friends, families, and recently, a Medal of Honor recipient.

While there are a lot of people in Columbia who don't have a lot of class, Representative Erickson is all about class. She's a great neighbor for her community, a good friend of the Blogland and a wonderful addition to the State House.

The only thing truly shocking about her is that good people like her not only exist at the State House - they thrive. For which we're truly grateful.

Midlands GOP leader caught in questionable computer activities

When the Blogland went sniffing around for the lowdown on reports that Richland County YRs leader Nettie Britts was heavily involved in what could be described as computer ... "activities" ... we found some things to be concerned about.

In fact, reports are that Britts is laying low this summer and in recent weeks, she has been ducking our inquires about what she's been doing. We don't know about what you might think, but this sounds like a cover-up to us.

A computer major at USC, Britts has clearly been involved with computers in a major way, which can only mean one thing. She may blog about computer classes at college, but we're not fooled. There's something more going on here.

We're not going to go into details - our readers are smart people, they can figure this one out for themselves.

Concerns grow about GOP strategist's trysts with alien species

While it's no secret that many South Carolina politicos have gotten in trouble over romantic involvement with various humans, we've been informed by reliable sources that you won't find Columbia-based GOP strategist Wes Donehue in the arms of another woman. In fact, you might not find him in the arms of a member of any terrestrial species - except for his wife.

According to reports from confidential sources, Donehue's problem isn't a "Strom problem", but rather one involving alien species. Of particular concern are allegations of trysts with
Orions, a race of alien humanoids best known for their greek skin and seductive ways.

Worse yet, we've been told that he's drug his wife into his exotic lifestyle. In an effort to placate his longings to "do something exotic", she has posed as a member of an alien species. Unfortunately, reports are these efforts have fallen short as her body was unable to tolerate ingesting large amounts of Green Food Dye #25, or even green beer on St. Patrick's Day.

While we have been unable to contact Donehue or his wife for comment, we recently spotted Wes in a Columbia park one evening with an individual dressed in a dark suit, who reportedly goes by the name Agent J. He was overheard saying "I never really look at them anymore, but they actually are quite beautiful."

Followed by a very bright flash of light.

Berkeley Senator entertains superhero fantasies

It's no secret that not everyone in politics is in it out of altruistic motives. The world of Columbia politics often attracts those who are ambitious, narcissistic, naive, possessed with feelings of inadequacy, and sometimes those who are truly mentally imbalanced.

It has come to our attention that Berkeley County's junior State Senator, Paul Campbell, may have to the political arena to compensative for a major inadequacy.

Reports are that Campbell is jealous of Superman.

Campbell, who managed the Alcoa aluminum plant in Goose Creek before retiring and seeking his Senate seat, has been called by many the Man of Aluminum, but is secretly jealous of the Man of Steel. Since he was unable to harness the powers that come from the planet Krypton, he has sought to soothe his feelings of inadequacy by entering the political arena and working aggressively to endow the Palmetto State with new powers generated from high-tech offshore wind mills and natural gas recovery.

Reports are the Man of Aluminum was recently seen in a mask near the Capitol grounds, attempting to leap over the State House in a single bound - an attempt which ended in failure.

Or maybe he was trying to kick the crap out of yours truly after he heard I was going to run this story. I'm not sure.

Upstate legislator caught in out-of-state love affair

It would seem as if Governor Sanford is not the only Columbia politico battling reports of an exotic out-of-state love affair.

According to reports we're received, York County Representative Gullick has been enjoying a little out-of-state fun of his own. Our sources indicated to us that he's taken several trips out of state in recent months, and has planned even more.

Gullick, having been caught in this relationship, is now planning to give up his House seat over the situation. Reportedly the woman, who has been identified by numerous sources as "Lynn", is allegedly a successful doctor and healthcare executive.

When we contacted Gullick, who was about to head out of state for yet another meeting with this out-of-state woman, he confirmed these reports and bragged about her in considerable detail, concluding the interview with:



Yes, I'm going out of state to meet her again, but she's my wife, dammit. What's Sanford's excuse?

South Carolina political strategist devoured by alien life form

While on a recent secret mission to the Andromeda galaxy, Wesley Donehue, noted South Carolina political strategist, was devoured by a vicious Quinnus Fogelus while boldly attempting to go where no man has gone before.

Rest in peace. Shazbot, na-nu na-nu.

Congress goes You Tube

Today being April Fool's Day (and you know what - the General Assembly is in session), we thought it was a terrible day to be serious. So we'll share this Comedy Central clip where Lewis Black offers his unique perspective on Congress going to YouTube:

Spratt blasts self, Democratic Congress for role in budget shortfall

In a press conference in Washington, D.C., Democratic congressman John Spratt, the Chair of the House Budget Committee, attacked himself over his role in increasing the national debt:


Section 7 of Article One of our Constitution is very clear on this point, when it says "All bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives". More specifically, when it comes to the Budget Committee, which I chair, "the primary responsibility of the Budget Committee is the drafting and preparation of the Concurrent Resolution on the Budget, usually called the 'budget resolution.' This resolution sets the aggregate levels of spending and revenue that is expected to occur in a given fiscal year.*"

You do the math: the Democrats run the House, the House originates budget legislation, and the Committee I chair puts the budget resolution together. While I can blame the President and the Republicans for the size of the deficit, let's face it - me and my fellow Democrats deserve plenty of the blame as well. It's time for Democrats to have the courage to live up to Harry Truman's old saying of the "buck stops here".


Spratt then held up a mirror and was looking at it as he spoke, calling it "my own accountability tool for finding who is responsible for the deficit". According to a unidentified source, Congressional staffers would begin issuing them to Democratic House members, the current House majority party. While some feared the mirror sent to Nancy Pelosi's office might undergo stress, the unidentified source said "it's a good thing Cynthia McKinney isn't around these days. A mirror wouldn't survive five minutes with her in the room."


* Wikipedia excerpt